Monday, 13 August 2012

Writing A Story With Jennifer (yes, they were mad enough to let me join)

Jennifer M Eaton is celebrating her blog's anniversary by inviting everyone to write a story with her! If you want to join us, you can! YAY! In case you want to know what has happened so far, here are the links:

Part One – Jennifer M Eaton
Part Two – J. Keller Ford
Part Three – Susan Roebuck
Part Four – Elin Gregory
Part Five – Eileen Snyder
Part Six – Mikaela Wire
Part Seven – Vanessa-Jane Chapman

And here's my entry! (Sorry if it's not up to the standard of the others. Technically I'm still a child!)


Her best friend, Bethany, frowned. “You were just what?”

“I saw a giant bee… it flew somewhere here,” Jodi gestured vaguely, careful to keep her back to the gap, blocking it from view. The high pitched voices, the chanting. It could only be fairies in there, and although Jodi trusted her, Bethany had a big mouth.

The girl in question rolled her eyes. “And you were looking for this bee with your ears? C’mon, I can always tell when you’re lying. What were you doing?”

Jodi hesitated. “Okay… but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“Of course,” Bethany smiled, leaning forward.

Even though they were alone, Jodi lowered her voice. “I think I heard some… some…” she trailed off, as a drop of bright red liquid fell from Bethany’s ear, and trickled down her shoulder. “What happened?” she cried, the fairies driven from her mind in an instant.

Bethany touched her ear, and winced. “It’s still bleeding? Jodi, you’ll never guess what happened. A group of horrid fairies attacked me… and my sister’s in league with them!”

“What?” Jodi rushed forwards, pulling her handkerchief from her pocket and dabbing at Bethany’s ear. “Are you going to report her? Your sister?”

Bethany’s eyes widened. “Never! You know me better than that. It’s just,” she glanced round, “I’m worried about Marci. She keeps slipping off at night, probably to see them. Can you imagine? Being friends with fairies? Horrid, horrid little creatures. If they were all killed tomorrow it wouldn’t be soon enough.”

With a shudder that had nothing to do with the statement, Jodi pushed Bethany back towards the houses, where she could find something to put on the wound.

“We have to follow Marci when she next sneaks out,” Bethany kept saying. “We have to make her see sense.”

And a gleam came into her eyes, but Jodi didn’t notice, so caught up in the gash, and in what she had overheard, and in the question that was pressing on her mind. If Bethany ever found out that she, Jodi, had stumbled upon a group of fairies and hadn’t reported them, what would she do?



25 comments:

  1. This is good. You set up a great hook. I was pulled in and would definitely keep reading. Nice voice, good emotions, good characterization - alot of complexity for a short piece.

    I really like this!

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  2. Well done! Funnily enough, when I wrote the part before yours, I was thinking it might have been Bethany that showed up! It makes the link back to the earlier parts of the story. It's all coming together nicely...

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    1. yay! Great minds think alike! I think it is :)

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    2. Must be a UK thing! (I live in Kent).

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    3. YAY! Same time zone buddy!

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  3. By the last line, I think Jodi knows very well what Bethany might do! Well done, Ravena - great job on this.

    Beste,
    Mikaela

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    1. Thank you! I think she does too :)

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  4. Good morning from Wales. I hope you've got better weather than we have.

    Really enjoying what you've done with this Ravena. It sounds like Jodi and Marci could be allies if they need to be and you've ramped up the tension about what could happen if Bethany blabs. T'riffic.

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    1. Ack, it's cloudy here but no rain. Nice to be in same time zone!

      Thanks :) I'm just glad I didn't mess it up too badly.

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  5. Good job, Ravena! I love the way this story is turning out!

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  6. Way to go, Ravena! I love how you've linked up all the characters. :)

    - Susan from mywithershins (Blogspot wouldn't let me use my WordPress account, again!)

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    1. Thank you! (I think I recognize you now :D Yay!)

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  7. Sounds great, Ravena! And you did manage to tie elements from other writers together, which is no easy task!

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  8. Great job, I agree. I like how you pulled in Bethany and upped the stakes.

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    1. Thank you! It's a relief no one has told me I messed it up yet! :D

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  9. I think I missed the memo when this came out. I just read that part 9 is out. Good job on this. :) I'm getting nervous. My turn is coming up soon!

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    1. good luck to you with it! And if I managed to do it without being kicked out of the cyber-verse, you can too! :D

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  10. Who says books have to be 500 pages long. You all have done so much in less than 2,000 words! I have read from the beginning to now in just one quick sitting. I'm not a writer (except my blog) but wow am I impressed with you all.

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    1. Thank you! I'm impressed with everyone too! It's going so well :)

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  11. Ravena I think your entry is just as fine as any other. I like your voice and the depth you gave jodi. You also showed that Bethany is not so evil as to not have any thought about her actions. Of course she could be allowing Jodi to believe she wouldn't too.

    I am joining the story soon and reading so i understand the plot and direction. I invite you to read my piece next week.

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